Johnny's Site

Well lets see, about me, i'm a pretty good looking guy.... just kidding... but seriously... i guess i'm holy... actually i'm a monk. Me, desmond, and Alex Koh, we are monks who live in the forest of Bukit Batok. We believe in primitive lifestyle. And we're sweaty. (well i am) and our clothes have holes in them. (well mine do) and we have mustaches. (well sometimes i do) Actually my brethen of monkery would consider it a sin for me to be operating this modern laptop called Apple. Thats why I hide it in an old oak tree deep in the jungles of Bukit Batok, where only I and the monkeys dwell. At first the monkeys wanted to eat me, as they thought i looked like a fat white banana. After some persuasion they realized this was false. And that I was a monk. Which is only two letters short of monkey. So they made me their chieftan. Desmond is Vice President and is working hard on getting those monkeys which are unemployed (actually all of them) jobs. Desmond being an expert on attachments and such. Alex is the chief priest of religious affairs, and is currently translating a version of the Bible into monkey language. We are calling it the NAKV. New Alex Koh Version. We desire that every monkey family have one in their treetop abode. We are also trying to introduce Roti Prata to these monkeys, as i am tiring of eating bananas. The monkeys were at first reluctant to change, until I spoke of the wonders of the exsistence of banana prata. They were so excited, they nearly ate me.... again. Fortunately Alex intervened with a few Bible verses, and Desmond threatened to fire them from their new jobs. Needless to say I was still slightly chewed up and gnashed upon with their little monkey teeth. Forgive and forget I always say. The name of our Prata House will be Roti John. The monkeys still think I am a dish to be eaten. Only my status as Chieftan of the Bukit Batok Hill Monkey Warrior Tribe keeps me from becoming supper. Fortunately I passed a decree banning forks, spoons, knives, chopsticks and any other eating utensils making it illegal to be in a monkey's possession. Its one more preventative measure that keeps me alive.

On a more serious note, Jesus is my everything. Its all about him. Christ and him crucified for my sins, raised from the dead on the third day, seated in heavenly places at the right hand of the Father.

Kill Bodies

A bus made its way through the night. Forty-four soon to be Marine Corp recruits sat with their heads bowed, trembling with excitement and fear. Ominous footsteps signalled someone had boarded the bus. An impossibly gravelly voiced screamed out,... more

Previous blog entries:
Dec 9	-	Lump Sum
Nov 3	-	I'm Jim Morrison, I'm Dead
Apr 23	-	A Bedtime Story

Sunday Bloody Sunday

Check out the hair and clothes and groovy dance moves these guys have. oh blessed 1980's, would that your fashion would return to us!

Previous videos:
May 9	-	Dancing Queens
Apr 9	-	Child Rearing
Apr 5	-	The Reason We are Monks

The Gym

I just went to the gym. What an accursed place that is. Curse you dumbells! may you break in half! Curse you bench press! May your pressing powers diminish until you cease this mindless torture of innocent pectoral muscles! And you leg press, don't... more